Currently hanging on our fridge (besides our 2-year-old) are three wedding reception invitations each scheduled to take place on the same June day, at the same June time. Unfortunately, with June gas prices as they are, they will not all be held in the same place.

To save me from organizing a strict reception itinerary, factoring in standing in line time and the visiting with people you haven't seen in years and years and won't see for years to come time and then trying to find adequate time to sample the bride's selective choice of hors d'oeuvres -- which really is just a schmancy, France-y way to spell "guest treats" -- I have come up with just a few helpful and handy "hunks of wisdom" for those of you who will be married this month.

Hunk of wisdom #5: The shaving cream, Oreos, tin cans and paper that decorated your "Just Married" car is just a precursor to having children of your own.

Hunk of wisdom #8: Ninety-nine percent of the time, what you saw in your dream should not be held against your spouse.

Hunk of wisdom #17: When the great divide occurs (or, in other words when BYU and Utah play in November and then twice during the basketball season), you don't have to see a marriage counselor.

Hunk of wisdom #24: You're never too far away when you're holding hands.

Hunk of wisdom #31: If you go to bed mad and make it a point to hug your side of the bed all night, you're really not going to sleep very well.

Hunk of wisdom #33 (from my husband): Listen to your wife -- even if you don't listen.

Hunk of wisdom #35: Always tell your wife that she's a better cook then your mom.

Hunk of wisdom #46: Be sincere -- even when you don't mean it. (see #33)

Hunk of wisdom #49: Give your spouse a pet name. "Rover" shouldn't be one of them.

Hunk of wisdom #52: When you treat your spouse like the best thing that's ever happened to you, you may discover the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Hunk of wisdom #57: The silent treatment is a really, really bad way to communicate.

Hunk of wisdom #58: And not shutting up is too.

Hunk of wisdom #70: Chocolate is a great way to say "I love you" or "I'm sorry" or "It's a girl" or "It's a Boy" or "We're having triplets?"

Hunk of wisdom #71: Prayer will make all things better.

Hunk of wisdom #83: Don't ever compare yourself to one of those "Made for TV" Hollywood couples. After all, do you really want to name your first child "Festus Archippus?"

Hunk of wisdom #95: When you both opt to eat the garlic and onions, you can still kiss without smelling the odor -- most of the time.

Hunk of wisdom #99: "Happily ever after. . ." can start today.



Darla Jones has lived in Tooele for nine years. She has eight children and loves chocolate.