For victims of domestic violence, leaving can be the hardest part -- whether it be because of the fear of repercussions, or because love, promises, confusion, denial, low self-esteem and peer pressure conspire to keep a victim paralyzed.

Tooele County provides help for these women, however, in the form of a state-funded crisis shelter for battered women and children called Pathways. The shelter, which is located in Tooele, provides 30 days of housing and assistance to a growing number of victims wishing to escape abuse, whether for a few days or in an attempt to get away forever. The 11-bed shelter is staffed 24 hours a day with trained case workers and a licensed social worker.

"Just walking through our door is a huge step for these women," said Michelle Main, director of the shelter. "It's empowering."

Last year the facility saw one and a half times more clients than were seen the previous year, according to Main.

"There's definitely been an increase," Main emphasized.

The facility features a kitchen, shared open space, a client room and staff room on the main level, and the lower level is made up of a playroom, a storage room, and two additional client rooms.

Main said shelter employees assess the situation of each victim upon arrival and take care of immediate needs -- medical, mental and legal services -- and offer referrals to help with those needs. Part of this initial assessment is determining the welfare of the children involved as well.

"Many times our ladies come in with nothing," Main said. "The only thing on their minds was to get out."

Each woman, or family, is provided with a 'welcome bag,' with essentials like tooth brushes, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, combs and other necessary toiletries. They are also often invited to visit the storage room area on the lower level to select clothing, shoes, coats and towels from the numerous racks and shelves of donated items.

Children, who often don't understand the reason for leaving home so suddenly, are given a blanket or a toy to give them something to connect with and help ease their anxieties. Victims are invited to take these items with them when they leave the shelter.

"When our ladies leave [the shelter], we want to give them as much of a head start as we can," Main said.

Pathways also offers the assistance of case workers to counsel individuals through the tense situations they are dealing with. Together victims and case workers are able to put together a plan of what they want to accomplish while at the shelter. Then the shelter strives to empower them with the resources they need to reach those goals, whether it be help finding a job, getting a driver's license or making doctor's appointments.

The shelter has security cameras that show the entire parameter of the facility, and has the full support of local law enforcement agencies. Supposing a perpetrator finds a woman who is staying at Pathways, Main said they have no way of keeping that person out of the facility, but will immediately relocate that woman for her safety and for the safety of others temporarily living at the shelter.

The location of the shelter is not disclosed to the public, and Main believes that the secrecy of the shelter has remained in place because of the respect previous tenants have of the services provided. They wish for the shelter to be able to continue to help women like them and so they tell no one, Main said. Additionally, all tenants are required to sign a statement saying that they will not disclose the location of the shelter.

"Safety is our primary concern," Main said.

Pathways is only licensed to hold 11 people at any given time. Main hopes to expand the facility to allow it to house more victims and provide more services, so that women or families aren't forced to uproot and seek refuge outside of an area that they are comfortable with.

"Sometimes we are bursting at the seams," Main said. "We don't want children that are victims of domestic violence to have to leave the support systems they are familiar with -- friends, teachers -- and have to go to a shelter in Salt Lake. The known is always easier than the unknown."

Main said anyone can experience domestic violence in their home.

"We have women from every socio-economical status that come to Pathways," Main said. "Many ethnicities have been represented."

The only thing that remains similar in each case is the types of feelings of those walking through the door for the first time: fear, anger, denial or even resigned acceptance.

Main said education is key to combating the growing problem of domestic violence in the community.

"If we can get awareness out there, then we have a chance," Main said.

jamieb@tooeletranscript.com