The night her husband threatened to beat and kill her and then cut her body up into tiny pieces is the night Jen left him. It was the end of a six-year abusive relationship, but not the end of the 26-year-old mother of two's emotional and physical suffering.

It's been three years and Jen still flinches when someone tries to get close. Memories still creep into her mind of the numerous beatings that lasted into the night.

"He'd beat me and choke me and then I'd pass out, wake up and he beat me again," said Jen, a former Tooele resident who left the city last fall. "It got to the point that I could look at a calendar and be able to tell when his next blow up would be. It was just little things that would set him off, like something not done perfect in the house or me looking at him the wrong way. Everyone thought we had this great relationship, but actually I was living in hell."

Jen's story is not uncommon — both locally and across the nation.

"It's a fairly common situation within our city," said Lt. Jorge Cholico of the Tooele City Police Department. "I know it happens, but I can't say on average how often."

He added, however, that the state of Utah has taken a very firm stance on domestic violence recently. As such, if an officer arrives on scene and gathers enough evidence to determine that an act of domestic violence has taken place, and is able to identify a primary aggressor, the officer is required to take action. Action can vary from a simple citation or referral to an arrest.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, one woman is victimized by an intimate partner every 1.3 minutes on average across the country.

"That number is really high," said Betsy Leishman, one of three coordinators of the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Advocacy crisis line in Tooele County, a county-wide non-profit organization.

The crisis line receives between 35 and 40 calls per month, a majority of which are domestic-violence related. Leishman said while the numbers don't tend to illustrate a particular trend locally — domestic violence is always prevalent.

"It's the most underreported crime in America," said Holly Johnson, Tooele County's victim/witness advocate. "I'm busy, so does that tell you we have domestic violence in Tooele County? Yes.—

Although each of these reported and unreported cases is different, a cycle typically tends to develop.

"In domestic violence, you're going to see a pattern of behavior," Leishman said.

She said the cycle of abuse often starts with a honeymoon phase followed by some minor conflict that erupts into violence. Then comes a period of remorse before the cycle starts all over again — although the assault is often more severe the next time around.

"For some people, the cycle can happen over a year and for some people it's happening all the time," Leishman said. "The honeymoon phase is generally why people stay in the situation. It's not always bad."

Leishman said a common misconception about domestic violence is that it's the result of anger management issues.

"Domestic violence is not about anger out of control," Leishman said. "It's about using anger to get power and control."

For example, Jen said her husband forced her to cut off all communication with her family and friends. He was very particular about things around the house and sometimes when he beat her he would make her go to work with him the next day so he could keep an eye on her and prevent her from going to the police or telling someone else.

Leishman said such perpetrators used to be sent to anger management classes as part of a court resolution, but now courts are requiring them to get the treatment they need — often specific domestic violence treatment through Valley Mental Health.

Tooele County has a women's shelter called Pathways, which gives victimized women a refuge. The location of the facility is not disclosed to the public to ensure that it remains a safe haven for those who reside there temporarily. But Leishman said for most women leaving is the hardest part, not only because of fear of repercussions, but because of love, promises, confusion, denial, low self-esteem and peer pressure.

"Women who leave their batters are at a 75 percent greater risk of being killed by their batter than those who stay," according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

For Jen, leaving wasn't her top priority — her kids were. She was afraid to leave because she didn't have the money to take care of her children by herself. But that afternoon when her husband threatened her life, she sat in a darkened bedroom clutching a gun and waited. Not soon after she heard a timid voice say, "Mom, why do you have a gun?" She knew it was time to leave. She packed some bags and spent a couple of days in the basement of a family member's home before another family member called the police and informed them of the abuse that had been taking place.

After eight days on the run, Jen's husband was arrested in August of 2005 and later found guilty of domestic violence in the presence of a child, forcible sex abuse and aggravated assault. He is currently serving prison time and won't be up for parole again until 2015.

Jen's advice to others is to get out as soon as possible. She credits some of her strength throughout the process of leaving and then testifying to advocates at the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Victim Advocate program in Tooele.

"Holly is like the sister I never had," she said of Johnson. "She held my hand through everything."

Leishman and Johnson, who is also a coordinator of the program, both agree that education and awareness are key in combating domestic violence.

"There are a lot of people who just aren't getting the help they need," Leishman said. "We need to educate people on what abuse is, but also let them know that they aren't alone."

"When we create a nonjudgmental, supportive environment for victims to come forward and report abuse, then we will help the situation," Johnson added. "We also need to have ready the resources available to victims. If you don't have a place to live, a job or transportation then you are going to stay with the abuser."

The Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Victim Advocate program offers support to victims of domestic violence via a 24-hour crisis line at 882-6888.

The Tooele City Police Department is also currently accepting applications to fill its domestic violence advocacy opening within the department.

Contact Jamie Belnap: jamieb@tooeletranscript.com